Dare is a self-help book by Barry McDonagh that presents the DARE Response, a four-step technique for managing anxiety and panic. The book's full title is Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast, and it was published in 2015. The DARE acronym stands for Defuse, Allow, Run Towards, and Engage, though some summaries render the first step as "Diffuse" rather than "Defuse". The core argument is that fighting anxiety makes it worse, and that accepting it, reframing it, and redirecting attention can reduce its hold.
What the Book Covers
McDonagh frames anxiety as a natural response to stress rather than a sign of weakness. From that starting point, the book sets out to explain why common responses to anxiety, such as resistance and avoidance, can backfire, and it offers the DARE Response as an alternative way to respond in the moment.
The book addresses specific anxiety triggers including panic attacks, social anxiety, and health anxiety. It also tackles common fears such as losing control or going crazy, offering reassurance to readers who experience those thoughts. Alongside the psychological technique, McDonagh discusses lifestyle factors such as diet, exercise, and sleep as support for mental well-being.
The DARE Response Step by Step
The four steps are meant to be used in sequence when anxiety rises. Here is what each one involves, based on published summaries of the method.
Defuse (or Diffuse)
The first step involves responding to anxiety with phrases such as "so what?" or "who cares?" to acknowledge that there is no real danger. The aim is to take the threat out of the anxious thought rather than argue with it or try to suppress it.
Allow
The second step means accepting the anxiety and letting it manifest in whatever way it wishes, rather than fighting it. This runs against the instinct to push anxious feelings away, and it is the heart of the book's acceptance-based approach.
Run Towards
The third step involves telling yourself that you are excited by your anxious thoughts and feelings. McDonagh's stated aim here is to stop the brain from misreading anxiety sensations as a threat and to reframe arousal as excitement.
Engage
The final step requires engaging with something else that takes up your full attention. This matters because the anxious mind may still cling to whatever it can to keep you in an anxious state even after the earlier steps.
| Step | Core Instruction |
|---|---|
| Defuse | Respond with "so what?" to acknowledge no real danger |
| Allow | Accept the anxiety and let it manifest |
| Run Towards | Tell yourself you are excited by the feelings |
| Engage | Redirect full attention to something else |
Why the Book Says Fighting Anxiety Backfires
The book's central rationale is that resisting or fearing anxiety sensations sends danger signals to the brain, which intensify and prolong anxiety. In other words, the attempt to escape the feeling is read by the body as confirmation that something is wrong. The DARE Response is designed to interrupt that loop by changing the response from resistance to acceptance and redirection.
This is the author's argument as presented in the book and in summaries of it. It is not a claim of proven clinical efficacy, and no controlled trial evidence on the DARE Response specifically was available for this summary.
How the Method Is Meant to Be Used
McDonagh emphasizes that the technique must be practiced regularly. He presents it as a lifestyle change rather than a one-time solution. The book also encourages readers to use the DARE technique alongside professional help if necessary to achieve long-term relief from anxiety.
The Book's View of Medication and Traditional Approaches
McDonagh discusses the role of medication in treating anxiety, saying it may provide temporary relief but does not address the root cause of the problem. One critical review characterizes the book as repeatedly framing psychiatric drugs as crutches and argues that it does not acknowledge cases where short-term medication is needed. Readers should treat both the book's position and the reviewer's counterpoint as perspectives rather than settled clinical guidance.
Situations the Book Reportedly Addresses
According to a published summary, McDonagh outlines techniques for applying the DARE Response in challenging situations such as public speaking, driving, and confronting fears of leaving home. The book's primary focus, however, is on panic attacks, social anxiety, and health anxiety, along with the fear of losing control.
Criticisms and Limitations
A critical review raises several concerns worth knowing before you decide whether the book fits your situation.
- The reviewer argues that the book claims the method works for OCD, social anxiety, PTSD, and depression, which the reviewer considers a stretch.
- The same review says the book borrows heavily from Dr. Claire Weekes's acceptance-based approach, framing this as commentary on the book's sources rather than an established fact. A separate summary places Dare alongside acceptance-based approaches such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy.
- The review says the book barely addresses root causes such as grief, guilt, or impossible work situations.
- The review notes that the book assumes medical tests have come back clear, which may not fit readers whose symptoms have a physical cause.
- The review says the book presents itself as fail-proof, which can make readers feel broken when it does not work immediately.
- The review also says the book's advice to occupy every waking moment backfired for that reader, and that moderation matters.
These points come from a single reviewer's perspective and should be weighed as opinion rather than clinical evidence.
Who May Find It Useful
The same review recommends the book mainly for panic attacks and the fear of having them, and says it is not enough for trauma, complicated grief, or conditions needing medical support. That gives a reasonable decision rule: if your main struggle is panic and the fear of panic, the book's approach may be a useful companion to professional care. If your anxiety is tied to trauma, grief, or a possible physical cause, the book is unlikely to be a sufficient stand-alone answer.
The book itself reportedly encourages readers to combine the technique with professional help when needed. No source reviewed here addresses the book's suitability for children, adolescents, or specific clinical populations, so that question remains open.
Deciding Whether to Read the Full Book
A summary can give you the shape of the method, but the book's step-by-step guidance, examples, and nuance live in the full text. If the four steps above make sense to you and your main challenge is panic or the fear of panic, reading Dare in full may be worthwhile. If you are looking for a clinical treatment plan, a trauma-informed approach, or guidance on medication decisions, the book is not designed to replace that, and a qualified professional is the better starting point.
